This week has been nuts, totally insane!
Mr E... well, you know the story there. Slowly coming to terms with it, trying to get over him but struggling at times. BUT I've now had two days with no tears over him. Happy :)
But now... guess what?! My magical friend has dropped a bombshell. It went like this...
Him: "Fleur, I think I love you"... Me: "Oh! Shit!"
Great response!
He's been the perfect gentleman about it. No pressure, no rush, he doesn't expect me to go running to him, he knows it's crap timing (what with Mr E an'all).
But then, last night... we kissed, and I liked it! It wasn't a full-on "snog" (such a childish word, reminds me of the playground... which is quite apt, seeing as my magical friend and I have been friends since school), but it was definitely a kiss. It was quite romantic. He was leaving my house, so I walked to the door with him, stood in the porch chatting and just saying goodbye, when he lent in and kissed me. He kinda paused, looked me right in the eye and had such a worried "oh my god was that ok?" look on his face, that I just took his face in my hands and kissed him back! (And he's a good kisser - phew!)
I know he's going to be reading this, so I won't go into too much detail (don't want him getting a big head!) but I'm sorting through things in my head just now. It's been a confusing few weeks. My magical friend knows this, but the feelings for Mr E are still there and they're still as strong as ever. But it almost feels like they're being butted out..? Does that make sense, Danny-Boy?
Maybe my magic friend is just a distraction? Maybe he's having a crazy time and this isn't real? Maybe everything with Mr E wasn't real? I don't know... I have no answers to anything.
I'm still smoking like a demon... I'm really trying not to, but it's either that or alcohol at the moment, and I see the ciggies as the lesser of two demons! Maybe drinking would liven things up though?!
Anyway, just a quick one as have an early start tomorrow... just *had* to share my "he kissed me!" news. Oh, and he held my hand today... I just love that, love having my hand held.
Can't help but think of Mr E... must kick that habit, he obviously has...
Sweet dreams, Daniel...
Much love,
Fleur
xxxxxxx
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